If you call me, and i don’t pick up after 1 minute, just fucking hang up.
If 1 minute has passed since the first ring you heard, I am probably:

1) taking a shit
2) making food
3) jerking it
4) sleeping/ignoring the fact the phone is ringing

Honestly, when you call and don’t hang up until 3 solid minutes of ringing has taken place, it makes me want to find out who you are, track you down and kill you.

I give up if I don’t have an answer within 30 seconds of ringing.
That is the cap in the modern world, when most voice mail systems will trigger.
Most people have grown accustomed to this, but i guess a few fucktards out there need 3 minutes to let the realization sink in.

To you, long telephone ringer – enjoy this flaccid wiener.