Once upon a time there was a lovely Russian girl by the name of Irina. In her glory days she spent her time in my lair, performing such tasks as polishing the Royal Knob, making me sandwiches, and of course, pleasuring my other servants.

However, these are dark times.
Irina has since been brainwashed by her evil creator, Krrios. He came in the night, snatching her from my kingdom.

With this mighty post, I pray to the heavens that her eyes see this link, a picturesce moment of her times spent in my Kingdom.

She could suck a watermelon through a garden hose. *sniff*